Our little angel...

Hi Everyone,

This is my new blog spot for Erin Grace. It seems a little easier to use than the last one:) Today, January 5th, marks exactly one month until my due date! I never expected to carry Erin as long as I have and feel so grateful to have been given this much time with her.

UPDATE: January 5th, 3:30 PM - We have checked into the hospital and are looking forward to seeing and holding baby Erin. January 6th, 4:40 AM - Pitocin started after a few hours sleep for mommy, although she was already continuing to dilate without it. Erin is kicking and lively as ever. January 6th, 9 AM - Veronica and baby are doing well, but the contractions are more frequent and getting stronger. Erin and Mommy are intent on staying together as long as possible. January 6th, 2 PM - Mommy is progressing slowly, but the doctor anticipates Erin will be born early this evening. We're anxious to hold her and see her beautiful face, hands and feet. January 6th, 5:50 PM - Finally dialating past 7...kids stop by to day hi, but are leaving now so mommy can do the hardwork.

January 6th, 6:42 PM - Baby Erin Grace Vallejo was born at 3 lbs 7.4 oz. Both Mommy and Erin looked beautiful and we all got to spend some very special moments together. Father Ken and Deacon Larry from St. Hedwig's Parish baptized Erin which we are so thankful for...we know that she will be with Christ our Lord in a perfect place. Our wonderful friend and douala, Nancy Palmer, made it all much easier and let us really focus on Erin and eachother. Erin's brother and sisters, grandparents and Uncle Justin and Aunt Karla also got to spend some special time with her as well.

January 6th, 7:42 PM - Baby Erin Grace became our own personal angel...holding her in our hands and feeling her heart beat was an amazingly special gift, and we are confident she left us feeling safe and loved.

Here is an update of the last 8 months with my girl.

July 18 ,2008

This is the day I found out Erin Graces fatal condition : Anencephaly. I was only 11 weeks pregnant at the time. This condition is always fatal. Having this condition means absence of all or part of the brain of the baby. The baby's skull fails to close so whatever brain that is there is destroyed by the amniotic fluid. A brain stem is present with these babies in varying degrees. To say we were devastated is putting it mildly. There are no words to express the sadness and grief we felt at that time.

July 25, 2008

We decide to get a second opinion from a highly regarded perientolosigist. We went with hope in hearts but planned for the worse. We were again told at this doctors visit that our baby did in fact have this condition and that there was nothing we could do to prevent the outcome. He gave us a 0% chance of our baby surviving.

August 8, 2008

With our faith in God and unconditional love for Erin we decide to carry Erin to term and let God take her in his arms to heaven when He decides it 's time for her to go home. This brought us a sense of peace and allowed us to enjoy the time we had.

October- November 2008

During this time we switched over our prenatal care to Long Beach Memorial Hospital where we could see a high risk doctor and we would have access to a large group of Neonatologist (baby doctors). We started to work on things such as the birth plan, care of Erin after birth and planning funeral arrangements for after she passes. This was one of the most difficult parts but we knew that making these plans ahead of time would help us later.

November 13, 2008

Our first scare happened at this time when I was 28 weeks pregnant. I started having contractions for the first time and they were coming pretty regularly. I was really nervous since I was barely in my 7th month and I knew Erin's lungs would not be developed yet. We went into the hospital where they told me I was already 60% effaced. They sent us home since I hadn't started to dilate yet. Later the next week my doctor told be I would be lucky to make it to 32 weeks. It was also at this time that we learned I had developed a condition called polyhydramnios, which means excessive fluid. This was an indication that Erin may not be swallowing very well. I had started to look very large in just over a couple weeks. We had already been told that this could happen so we weren't surprised. Unfortunately it would mean that our chances for going into labor prematurely would be high. I started measuring at 5 to 6 weeks ahead of where I should be.

November 2, 2008

My closest friends host a "pampering shower" for me. It was such a wonderful treat for me! They made my favorite tea food, painted my nails and toes and gave me such beautiful gifts that all had a connection for me to Erin. They gave me my memory box which will later hold all of Erin's little belongings.

November 22, 2008

My mother and mother-in-law with my friend April's help gave me a beautiful prayer shower. My husband makes the most touching slide show presentation of all the prayers my friends and family sent in as well as ultrasound pictures of Erin. The whole shower was filled with so much love, hope and strength for Erin and I.

November 27, 2008

Thanksgiving day we celebrated how thankful we were for all we have. This day marked my 30th week so it was a real cause for celebration!

December 11, 2008

I went back to the hospital with more contractions. This was 32nd week and I still felt is was too early to have Erin. My contractions were coming every 5 minutes or so and the doctor encouraged me to stay and have the baby. They were going to give me some induction medication to make Erin come a little faster. Against their recommendations I decided to go home and wait it out.

December 19, 2008

My kids, husband, mom and mother-in-law all go to see our Erin in 4D! This was a really neat experience to have my family together to see Erin up close.

December 25, 2008

Christmas Day I was still pregnant! I had make it to 34 weeks to the day so I was thrilled. I was praying that Erin would not come before Christmas so it was such a relief to get tho this point.

January 2, 2009

My contractions had been strong for 2 and half days we so we decided to it was time to go back again to the hospital. I felt really good about it this time. I was past 35 weeks and finally felt it was safe for Erin to be born. We went in late evening on Friday night. I was disappointed because I knew that my doctor was going to be out of town until Monday and that if I had Erin it was going to be without him. They checked me at the hospital I was told I was 100% effaced and dilated to 1 cm. The contractions were every two minutes but this was still not enough to keep me at the hospital so i I once again went home.

January 5, 2009

That bring s us to todays date. The contractions are still continues (which I was told by my doctor would be the case due to all the fluid). I had a hard time sleeping last night since the contractions made it impossible to get comfortable. My next doctor appointment is this Wednesday where we will come up with a date to induce me.

I would like to thank some people that have really carried me through this time. I'm not sure I could have stayed so positive without their constance reminder that everything was going to be okay. My biggest rock has of course been my faith in God. Bringing me closer to Him in ways I can't fully explain. To know that I will be handing off one of the most important people in my life to him has been the only way I have been able to cope with losing Erin. To know that she will be held in the palm of His hand and that she will go with Him to the most beautiful and perfect heaven is the most comforting feeling

My family, including my husband Johnny, my kids, mom and mother and father-in-law as well as all my extended family have all been so supportive. They have patiently suffered through all my false alarms and have helped share their love for Erin with me.

My closest friends who constantly check up on me and have also brought me so much support. Whether it's to listen to me cry or laugh or distract me with yummy treats they are always there. I would especially like to thank Debi, Traci,Kelli, Lacey and Traci for being with me through this from the very beginning.

My wonderful group of supporters through my Anencephaly Blessings From Above on-line support group. I can not tell you enough how much this group has meant to me during the last several months. I can't imagine not having all these wonderful moms share their experience about what it's like to have lost a baby to this condition or carrying one. I want to especially thank April Swenby and Ginine Argueta for always knowing just the right thing to say, for reminding me that everything I'm feeling is normal and that over time it will get better.

My Douala Nancy Palmer who has been with me with my last two deliveries and again this time. Nancy has a way of filling you with peace and calmness . She is one of the most giving and selfless people you will ever meet. Having lost a son herself she really knows how to bring comfort in ways that only a mother who has lost a child can.

There are so many others that have been so kind, supportive and thoughtful to us and I really can't say enough how much it has helped. I have countless strangers praying for me all over the country and I can tell you I really do feel all those prayers.

I have said this before but it's worth saying again. One of the many gifts Erin has brought to me is the gift of experiencing the kindness of people. I look at the world through different eyes now. Thank you to everyone who has sent an email, a card, a phone call or a well wish or prayer for us. You have each touched Erin and I with your caring.